I am one of those people who will "kiss and tell." I might leave out names and exact dates, but if you have a question and ya ask it. I'll give an answer. I have nothing to hide. I am very, very open and honest when it comes to sex. I am definately not bashful when it comes to this subject. In fact, I have always aspired to be the next Dr. Ruth. Even if I am younger, and hopefully hotter!

I have said it before and I'll say it a million times over- sex IS what makes the world go 'round. I think if everyone was getting laid on a daily basis, we could actually achieve world peace. Don't believe me? Go get fucked- literally. After you've had a few orgasms that leave you feeling spent, relaxed and at peace with the world- think about it for a minute. I'm sure you'll come around. (Pun intended!)

Today, my sexuality came in the form of waking up and finding that I looked damn hot! Hot, I tell you! I had an awesome hair day, an awesome make up day and my new outfit accentuated all the positives my newly thinned out figure has to offer.

As I got ready to start my day, I jammed to my Ashlee Simpson C.D. singing into the hairbrush and watching myself in the mirror. I hate to admit it- but I am becoming a woman who can't get anough of staring at herself in the mirror! I used to make fun of all the people who did that. And now, I am one of them. Imagine that!

Tammy, Shawn's cousin's wife was having a party that I was invited to. It was a sex toy party. Tammy is always hostessing some sort of party- but I A) Am usually working or B) broke as hell. Today, I was still pretty broke... but I didn;t have to work, and a sex toy party is definately right up my alley!

Man, it was a trip. So much so that I look forward to hostessing a party of my own within the next month. I swear to goodness I was ready to sell my soul, auction off my house and car just to get more cash to buy more merchandise. This company has all of the latest and greatest in lube, oils and gadgets! And they're decently priced! I was in an orgasmic heaven I never wanted to leave.

The lady who runs the show was funny as hell. She demonstrated many of the goods, let us sample the edibles and even gave us all a free lip stick shaped like a penis. She had forgotten some of her gear and with it, the games we were supposed to play- save for one. She got out a pink jelly double headed dildo and started the music. Oh my...

We played musical pass the double dong. That's where y'all get in a circle and put the double dong between your legs. Now you have to find a way to pass it off to the person next to you- minus the use of your hands. What a fucking trip! I didn't win and it was one game that ended up making even me blush. But it was fun.

I left 2 toys richer. They were a steal really. I bought a medium silver jelly dildo that the head lights up. It starts out one color and flashes through many different colors. Originally $25 and she gave it to me for $15! Oh yeah, baby! And the steal of the night? Was mine, of course. She had a discontinued dildo that stole my heart and set my loins to lubing themselves up at the ere thought of taking that baby home. But it was $85. Waaaay out of my price range to be quite frank. She said she'd cut me a deal though. (I told you I looked damn hot!) I got it, an $85 dildo for... get this- $20! Yes! Yess! YESSSSS! And I can;t wait to put them to work tonight!

In fact, after returning home, I showed Shawn a catalog. he was pretty impressed with their selection. Although he wasn't impressed that I signed on to hostess a party of my very own. (Three actually, but shhh!) That is until he started checking out the wares and looking into the bonuses like free and discounted merchandise you get when you host a party. I might even start selling it myself.

Imagine it, me, the sex toy sales woman. God, is that not the most perfect job for me or what? If it's not- I don;t know what else is really! I know I could surely make some killer ass sales. It's something we discussed.

After talking a bit, I put my new toys away for the time being and made like a good woman and started in on the tasks I had set for myself to accomplish. I got the laundry caught up. Swept and vacuumed the floors. Ckeaned the kitchen and living room. I didn't make it to the bathroom, get the clothes folded and put away or even takled the bedroom or guest room. But I made a hell of a lot of progress tonight. I just hope before I peter out on energy tonight I get a bit more done as tomorrow and the rest of the week will most likely render me too stressed, busy and tired to do whatever gets left undone.

I even managed to make chicken and dumplings for dinner and if I can toot my own horn- they were fabulous! And for dessert, I whipped up a strawberry cheesecake. (Jello-O no bake of course. But hey... I was busy damn it!)

After all that was accomplished, Shawn and I sat down and enjoyed our meal and watched Bourne Supremacy on TiVo. I guess he pay-per-viewed it last night when we went to bed. (Bless you, TiVo!) And then we watched a few shows on the Playboy Channel. (Bless you, Hugh Heffner!)

So it's on tonight. Most definately. I've got nothing but my new robe on. I still look damn sexy. I've got two new toys and the juices are flowing. I'm going to have me one hell of an orgasmic night tonight- with or without Shawn.

Hey, I've earned it, don't you think?!

::lifts her glass:: Here's to sex toys, the Playboy channel, over active imaginations and orgasmic encounters!

Wishing you and yours a night of orgamic religious experiences!

Simply,

Sara