So anyways, being a �queen sized woman� for all of my 28 years- I have never, ever felt the need to try to make love to someone. I was always the one who would just lie back and let the man do all the work. Of course, the lights had to be off and any unnecessarily exposed flesh had to be covered by a blanket or what not. I did not want to be seen while in the throes of passion by the man I love with my fat rolls bouncing from here to kingdom come. Hide and be hidden was my motto. And as much as I love sex, I always shied away from it more often than I would have liked.

Well� not anymore! That Sara is gone and can stay gone for that matter! I am now a sex fiend to the core. My new weight loss has lit the proverbial fire under my ass and am I on a sexual roll! I now don�t care about hiding my body or turning the lights off anymore. I am still a big woman though. don�t get me wrong there. But I am 75 pounds thinner and the weight loss improves more and more each day. (Cue the angelic squeals from the heavens of: HALLELUJAH!)

And I am finding myself wanting to explore the sexual diva that has been buried within for so long. So the other night, after Shawn and I had gotten home- he was feeling pretty frisky. I mean, there I was standing in front of the stove frying up some bacon for our dinner and he starts molesting me! So I turned up the ehat on the bacon as he turned up the heat on me. With the bacon crisp and ready for eating, I quickly shut the burner off, pushed the pan aside and started disrobing right there and then. Mid-kitchen, lights on, no curtains on the windows! At that point, neither Shawn or I cared.

I had decided that with my recent weight loss, I wanted to attempt something I had never done before. Still not quite ready to tackle the kitchen table, I pushed Shawn down on the sofa and settled for another fantasy- being on top. I had never dared try this before in fear of crushing or injuring him. Not to mention I had floatation devices for thighs. But my legs have thinned immensely and I was feeling pretty confident.

Let me stop there and say this: I have a whole new respect for men! They get my applause let me tell you! I never imagined all the work that went into something that seemed as simple and recreationally easy as sex. This was so not the case for me!

While being on top for the first time in life was exciting and equally rewarding, man, did it ever fucking hurt! My legs got all shaky, my thighs burned as if someone had lit a bonfire on top of them and man was I getting weak! And the sad part is, that was only after 5 minutes!!! FIVE FRIGGING MINUTES! Have mercy! But luckily for me, Shawn is a very understanding, patient and wonderful man/lover. He took everything in stride.

Needless to say, I had a very religious experience that night. It was so wonderful that since then, I have been even higher in spirits. And who knew that was possible? I look forward to learning and experiencing even more with him.

ON TO OTHER NEWS:

It�s Friday. No T.G.I.F. for me. I still have to work all weekend again. Two seven day work weeks in a row is really starting to take its toll on my body. I take it easy as much as possible. But what can I do. And the money is nice.

I tried some Adkins protein packed pasta tonight. EEEEYUUUW! Talk about nasty. My first bite got chewed for maybe five whole seconds before I had to spit it out. And I was so excited about a protein enhanced pasta. It just was not for me. I�ll have to find other ways.

Well, it�s getting late and I have probably already divulged way too much. So I�ll cut this entry off now before I get too carried away. I wish you well D�landers! I wish you a tomorrow filled with sunshine and happiness. And if you happen to see a crazy blonde women with an oddly radiant aura, flushed cheeks and singing �Zippity Doo Dah� off key as she merrily walks about� it�s prolly just me. Put the straight jacket away and move on. Ha! Ha!

Simply,

Sara