The years afetr Mom;s departure, it was pretty much left to dad's creativity- or lack thereof. We stuck to face paint and piles of warm clothing. And always clutched in our fat little hands, were old pillowcases that were always filled by the time we got home. Always the first ones out and the last ones home. It was always magical for me.

This year will prove to be no different... except for the fact that Shawn and I will ahve to work tomorrow and will miss out on Trick-or-Treaters or any costuming. But still, I dare to say it will be magical.

For even though I am much older now and too old to even consider going door to door for those treasured treats- I will in fact be in costume. one of an obese woman. That's how my skin feels to me. Like a costume. A bad one, but one just the same. Next year at this time, I will be a much, much thinner me.

Shawn and I were watching the season premiere of The Swan. We have it season passed on out TiVo. I so felt like one of those women! I kept trying to explain it to Shawn, but I'm not sure that anyone not having walking in the likes of my shoes could ever understand.

I was once a fat, ugly, miserable child who grew into a bitter, angry, anxious and depressed woman. And when i had finally reached my all time low- I reached out. Luckily, in doing so I reached out to the right people. And because of them, I am now on my way to becoming a "Swan" myself.

The only actual difference between myself and The Swans is that I never felt ugly. I never felt plain or average. I felt like a beautiful and worthwhile person. I just felt that that me was trapped behind the layers of fat that were slowly squeezing the life out of me. I just didn't know how to make my body realize that and catch up to the inner me.

And then came Dr. Featherstone, Mary Kay and all of the wonderful, wonderful people in the bariatric support program. Because of them, my body is finally catching up the the inner beauty I always knew was there but couldn't unleash. because of these angels, I am free to be the true me. One who is not bashful, open, honest and loving. One who appreciates life for what it's worth and lives each moment to it's fullest.

Like the song says, I once was lost- but now am found. Was blind, but now- I see!

Because of their amazing grace, I have my life back. A life filled with hope, promise and ever after.

Happy Halloween, Y'all!

Simply,

Sara