As far as my recovery from my RNY Gastric Bypass surgery� I can finally say that I am much, MUCH better these days. It�s almost sad really. I know that must sound insane. But only for the past week have I been feeling well enough to walk, talk, travel and enjoy myself all at one time. I am myself again. Okay, almost myself. I have a little further to go on my road to recovery. And of course, I�m 80+ pounds thinner.

When I went to see Dr. Featherstone and Mary Kay for the first time, I weighed in at 367.5 lbs. As of my latest weigh in, about a week ago- I weighed 280 lbs. A drastic change from the beginning. I have come so far both physically and mentally. I have had to adapt and accept the fact that I am no longer the Sara that I once was. That I can never go back to that Sara. And quite frankly- I don�t ever want to. So I have been concentrating on adapting and accepting while still maintaining the key parts of my soul that I refuse to let go of. I don�t ever want to give up my sense of humor, my love for life, my faith in humanity. I want to keep who I was inside, even as the outside changes literally right before everyone�s eyes. (My own included)

But there have been things I have had to let go of. Like my diet. I can�t even enjoy the salads that once upon a time had me foaming at the mouth. I have had to give up the chocolate that had my taste buds singing with joy. (Although the sugar free alternatives are quite tasty! Thank you Russell Stover!) I have had to stop being so carefree about my health and my body. I now must monitor everything I put into it. Everything that goes on with it.

But even with the scares of almost not coming out of surgery, the infected incision, the ulcer, kidney problems- I wouldn�t trade it for the world. Everyone tells me how brave I was to have the surgery. I wasn�t brave. The choice to do it wasn�t a choice for me. It was a survival option. I could live as I did and die slowly and most likely early, or I could have the surgery, get healthy and hopefully live a much, much longer life. I still live in fear every day. That will probably change but I doubt it will ever go away.

I am more woman now than ever before. It�s been crazy. I now grow hair. I know that sounds nuts but the only hair I ever grew was on my head and that seemed to take forever. (I still curse the hair dressers that left me bawling!) I now have to shave for the first time in my life. I also now have menstruations where I was only having one or two a year before. On both counts, they�re still a pain in the ass. What woman wants to shave half her body for the sake of vanity? Or deal with cramps, bloating, lower back pains and P.M.S.? I surely don�t. But it has been quite a treat to FEEL feminine again!

I went to see Doc and M.K. last Monday. They cleared me to go back to work next Monday, the 11th. I have mixed feelings. It has been so long since I�ve been to work. I miss the people, I even miss the working sometimes. But I wonder still if my body is ready for the physical hustle and bustle of an 8 hour day in a manufacturing facility. I guess only time will tell. I�ll just have to be damn careful to take care of myself and to try not to overdo it. I will admit, it will be nice to get back to �my normal life.�

Last weekend I was even able to make it home to Saginaw to visit my family. We had a great time taking Cassidy to Rock-N-Bowl, Carter, Tyler and Ethan to Chuck E. Cheese�s. My brother took me to dinner. It was a fun weekend, only too short as usual. My niece and nephews are growing so fast.

I have also taken up some hobbies. I am back to doing ceramics. I am just finishing painting a planter that is a bear holding a flower pot. I have a ceramic angel being fired for me son so I can work on painting some Christmas decorations and maybe even some Christmas presents. I have also taken up scrap booking. They are both fun and enjoyable with therapeutic qualities. Scrap booking is new to me but I have been having fun shopping for the many, many, many supplies I needed. I finished my first four pages proudly today. I guess it will be good for both Shawn and I for me to go back to work. Having hobbies aren�t cheap. At least not for me. Not even cooking. I had to have new supplies and wares for even that!

So that�s where I am now and what I have been up to. Thanks for tuning in and for all your prayers!

Simply,

Sara