One of the problems has been my internet access. I decided to move my computer to the living room. The reason being how much more convenient it is. And since my surgery, heat bothers me. Our computer room is non-air-cnditioned and I always got so ill back there. I would be dying after a mere few minutes. So we bought wireless internet. But for some reason, I don;t get much of a signal and need to purchase some sort of booster to get the signal to raech me. So I end up getting booted after a minute or two on line. One thing I now have to endure for the time being.

And my health has been an issue also. I was supposed to go back to work Monday of last week actually, but I ended up calling Mary Kay (my nurse) and telling her I did not feel ready. I still had the hole healing in my belly from the infection, I still get dizzy as hell when I bend over and heat still bothers me. I also brought up the fact that I was having a hard time keeping any foods down but that liquids were not an issue. She said that we needed to schedule me another scope that very week.

Turns out she wasn't kidding! A lady from the office called and said that the next morning I needed to be at the hospital at 8 a.m. Now mind you, I was terrified to be put asleep with any anesthetic again. And EGD's by no means are any fun anyways. But I went. Shawn's cousin Jacki was gracious enough to take me.

Turns out my stomach opening to my intestines wasn't closed up with scar tissue as they initialy expected, but in fact I now have an ulcer in my new stomach. GRR. So I am being treated for that right now and must admit I am able to eat more now than before. I ahve an appointment Tuesday to see what's up. And I might be able to return to work next Monday. Woww.

This whole experience has been a trip to say the least. I dont know if I mentiones itin other entries, but I as of the 6 week post-op date, was 75lbs lighter. I am losing faster than most men who I am told lose on average much faster than the women who have the same surgery. So that was a bit of good news.

I still don't know that I will physically feel well enough to go back to work next Monday. And in all honesty, I'm not itching to go back. But it would definately help the finances. So we'll see what happens.

I just came home from a weekend trip down state to Clare to visit some of Shawn's cousins. His cousin jacki who now lives up here with her boyfriend Elvis (no joke, that's his true name oddly enough) was kind enough to go down with me and do the driving. We stayed at her brother John's the 1st nite and her other brother Rich's the last night. We had a blast.

I even got to meet Shawn's father Mike. Shawn had expressed that he had no feelings whatsoever for his father. His father has made zero effort to be a part of his life in all his almost 27 years. But that he wouldn;t mind his brothers havign the chance to meet him if they so desired. So since we were passing the garage Shawn's father and Uncles own and run- I had Jacki stop.

I went in and introduced myself to him and asked if we could speak privately outside. He obliged and once we were out there alone I laid it all out for him. We talked for a bit. I was so petrified that my knees were knocking like crazy- I've heard people tell such stories and thought it to be an exaggeration. not this time- not for me.

In the end, he said that he himself wanted nothing to do with Shawn after all this time. (What a dock! But his loss in my humble opinion!) But that he would speak to his two other boys and see what they thought. He took my cell number and that was that after a little bit more small talk.

After returning home, I was terrified of telling Shawn of what I had done, but when I finally did- he wasn't mad at all. Mike still hasnt called as of yet to say one way or another. But I hope he does actually talk to the boys and get back to me. I asked him to either way. I told his cousins that if he says they don;t want to meet him or if he doesn't call abck in a week or two- I will go abck down there and find them myself. if Mike says they don;t want to- I won't know whether or not to believe him. And if he doesn;t call, then I will find them and ask them myself. And if they choose to not meet Shawn and see where things go- tehy're loss. At least we know we tried.

Well, i am going to see if this will post and get to bed. More in days to come... signal providing.

Simply,

Sara

PS So sorry about the typos.