So now, all I have to do is quit smoking. No easy feat, but goddamn if I don�t want this bad enough, yanno? Do I haven�t bought any. I ran out almost 2 days ago now. I have been refusing the urges. I must say, that yesterday went well. I was amazed that I had no major mood swqings, no �nic fits� per se, nothing. Well, until right before bed� but for 14 years, that�s been my ritual. I have always smoked a cigarette just before going to bed. It has always been the last thing I do every night. This is going to just take some routine adaptions. Finding things to do in place of my cigarettes. Avoiding break areas on breaks at work where the smokers congregate, etc.

I had another huge shock. Shawn is quitting with me. I never thought I�d see the day. He smokes for the same reason I did� we LIKE smoking. Now before I get e-mails and comments about how in Haiti I could like smoking--- I do. I like the smell, the taste and the calming effects of a cigarette. I�m not asking you to understand, just stating a fact. So since we�re both going to do this� we went and saw our PCP (primary care physician) who agve us each scripts for the patches. YAY! This is going to be interesting. But I�ll tell you what- Shawn�s quitting with me not only was a touching gesture, but it�ll help us both immensely. We can keep each other from cracking. I can�t even begin to describe the torture of trying to quit and everyone around you puffing away. Ugh!

I went to my first support group meeting this Monday past. It was pretty packed with all kinds of people. Samantha went with me.. yay! The meeting was an hour long and was pretty informative. And the people are all so friendly. That made me feel good. Then after the support group meeting, we went to a seminar where Barbara Thompson, author of Weight Loss Surgery: Finding the thin person inside you autographed the my copy of her book for several of us and then got up on the stage and talked all about what I will be going through. It was very informative and Mz. Thompson was a pleasant speaker.

And the very next day, I get word that it�s going to happen. I have never wanted something as much as I want this surgery. Well, maybe a baby. But this surgery will probably help make that happen too! I have been walking on cloud eight and a half. I�m almost on cloud nine� but not quite. With any major surgery- there are risks. Maybe even more so with this one and I cannot ignore that. So I�d be a liar to say I don�t have some worries and anxieties. But I am so not going to let them get me down.

I�m finally on the road to where I want to be in life. I�ve got all the people I love and who support me trekking on this journey with me. I am past all the forks (pun intended again!), getting over all of the curves (Fun with words� whee!) and now am on a path to a new, improved and healthier me.

I just have to be smoke free� for 8 weeks� only 54 more days to go�.

Simply,

Sara