The reason my day started out so horribly is because I woke up somewhat early. Nothing I try to do or prevent. If it happens, yay. If not, sorry 'bout your luck. Well, I happened to also remember that I had yet to mail out my money order for the phone bill and we're scheduled to be shut off tomorrow so I really needed to get taht dropped off. But guess what? Oh yes, I lost it. Now, I am the ONLY one I know who can lose money. It's actually a hobby of mine as of late. One that makes me sick to my stomach. So I spent hours trying to find it with no help from the sleaping asshole in my bed.

Once I recivered it and said a silent prayer of thanks, I reheated the sloppy joe leftovers from my cooking the night previous and settled in to enjoy every bite. Which I did. Then I had to startg waking the Asshole for work. Well, we got into our usual fight about his need for sleep (he has been sleeping in every morning for the 10 years we've been together and still hasn't gotten prettier so why won't he get the hint?)When I finally got a coherent response, I went back to the table to tackle the rest of my lunch to find that it was not on the plate where I had thought I had left it. So now I'm thinking okay, I lost almost $200.00 in money oprders and now I'm losing my sloppy joe? What the flip.

I looked down at my dog who was sitting beneath the table, a hunk of crust protruging from her non-moving jaw and sighed. At least someone was enjoying my lunch. And to think I'm getting a puppy in 2 weeks. Weeee. Won't this be fun?

Work went okay actually. A few minor mishaps like downed machines and other machines spewing sludge and slime across the floor. Enough so that when the Hi-Lo (fork truck) tried to get down the aisle he had his rig sideways and had us all rolling with laughter in his brave attempt to get out of the catastrophe he'd gotten himself into. A half hour later, he was free and back in business. 'Til he attempted to get thru a second time. What an ass. Damned men drivers I tell ya! But it made for some entertainment at an otherwise mundane moment.

The weather has been odd. It always is in Michigan. I was sitting outside smoking at break (The quitting thing really hasn't gone so well if you hadn't noticed. It was either be a raging Bitch or smoke. Now I do both in regular increments. But I'm smoking less and bitching only a bit more. So I guess we'll say I made a slight sacrifice and leave it at that) ANyways, the sun was out over half the building. the half where our break tables and smoking area are, it was raining. then it stopped. Then it started hailing. Then it stopped. It went on like this for awhile. I sat there thinking how great it was to know that even Mother Nature is indecisive and has a corny sense of humor at times and I returned to work with a giggle and a smile.

Later on in the evening, I picked up the phone to call our local Pizza Slut (or is it Pizza Hut? I'm not sure anymore) to order lunch. It's the one place that delivers and accepts my "rubber" checks. (Thank God tomorrow is payday!) But as I started dialing, the fire alrm went off wailing like a banshee and we were all forced to leave what we were doing and go outside in the freezing cold.

Now this whole ordeal I found to be amusing. It was NOT a drill, and being one of the first few out, i was able to watch as it took the 40 or so people up to 10 minutes to finally get outside. No one used the proper exits for the most part. I thought, now there's a way to survive the flames. We had a great turn out, the fire department, ambulances and the works.

I grabbe dthe schedule and began taking a head count. Only one person never left the building, the kind of guy every place of business has. you know the type I'm sure. the one who never does his job, doesn't mind his own business and is always worried about yours and who thinks he's "King Shit." Yeah that's the one... usually found under the bosses desk giving the boss supremo head. This one even brags about his "Golden Knee Pad Award." (We are all to kind to tell him he has also won the Biggest Jerk, Most Worthless, and Asshoel of the Millenium awards amongst others.

When the all clear came thru, we all headed back in to thaw out and try to resign ourselves to a sort of normal routine of getting through the rest of the night. Hell, I wnated to get my food ordered.

I went to the boss to give him the head count report and was stopped dead as I stood besode what had the be 6 of the most gorgeous firemen of the entire country. Oh yes, all sporting those big rubber waders, the hard hats and bodies of steel. I couldn't speak for awhile. I just stared in awe and with lustfilled eyes. not to mention my thoughts were verywhere they probably should not have been.

And God only knows where I finally got my voice to strike up the most insane conversation. I turned to the Fire God beside me and was like, "Yanno. I have a camera." (Mine actually broke, but shhhh!) He raised his brows when he looked at me. I'm like, "yeah... I was thinkign of making calendars. you like calendars? Everyopne uses them. I could startg with a calendar of firemen. not original I know. But the meat, I mean men will be. heh heh." He laughed a bit and winked and started to say something when the other God of the fire in my loin looked at me and said, "Oh Yeah?" I nodded and swallowed. I was like "Yeah, and you can be my June centerfold. Hell, you can be my All Year Man."

What the hell kind of cheeseball shit is that But they laughed, and I got to talk to the Gods of my dreams. I think at the next union meeting I am gonna beg them to install a stove in the breakrooms. then Miss Sara can cook up some fires and get those men back on a daily basis as they will more than likely have to come and shut my lil' operation down.

I know, i sound oathetic. But damn if only y'all could see these finely chiseled men! When they left, I went to the door to wave them off and stared at the truck as it pulled away in all its glory. Someone from behind me asked "Are those rain puddles?" I'm like, "nope. Not at all. Those are puddles of my drool." And man, was I salivating.

And then I had to return to my humdrum day and try to end it without spontaneously combusting. Arg. But everyone was in a cheery mood. So that made my day that much better.

Things have been all right lately. Nothing too extraordinary (except for those firefighters) and nothing too gruesome. And it looks as if we all get this weekend off. So that's bonus.

I wanna thank y'all for being patient with me and coming back tyo read up on my crazy life and my uncanny views on things. Special thanks to Laura who never stops making me smile with her e-greeting cards and notes. Laura, those really make my day. And to Adam, I hope ya worked out your he said-she said business and got to the more important business (if ya catch my drift! ) And to Kristina, not sure if I know them. The name doesn't ring a bell per say, but that doens't mean much. i suck at names. I guess it would depend on their ages, schools etc.

2 more weekends and I get to see Mick and the kids again, we'll be on our home turf and able to cut loose and terrorize the town. Weeeee!

And I'll get to meet my new puppy who in a dream last ngiht I named Boscoe. I ahve no clue where that came from. But if he looks the name, it's all his.

I;m know for wacky pet names. My 3 cats are Fat Ass (Formerly Zekey but he became a huge fat ass and no longer answered to Zekey) Ears (formerly Gizzie Gilespie but if ya saw his ears you'd understad) and J.C. for Jim Carrey and his movie the Mask. My dog is Chewbacca Lynn. Chewbacca suited her because she whines and almost sounds like she's talking. She says Nooo, Nooo, Nooo quite frequenty and made me think of the Star Wars Wookie. Then she turned into an avid chewer of all things precious like my treasures stuffed bears and my panties... so the name suits. And Boscoe... who knows. But I happen to think it's kind of cute.

So in a nutshell, this is my life currently.

Now I am off to bed to try to drumn up some wet dreams about a few studly fire fighters and a certain fire I hope they can squelch. Over and over and over again.

Toodles, D'landers....

Simply,

Sara