As far as the notion to quit smoking, I�ve done well, I think. Not as well as I would have hoped and some dared to expect. But not as bad as it could have been. I have only bought 2 packs since Sunday night. I still have half a pack. That�s damn good if you ask me. But� I miss it. I know if you have never smoked, you couldn�t understand that sentiment. But smoking was very much a part of who I was/am. It was a characteristic that defined me as sad as that may sound. But it�s true.

I have been chastised on the fact that I stated that I actually like smoking. And how is that possible. By so many readers. I guess I can�t explain it. The best way I can try is to say that some people can not get through a day without their coffee, or their pesi�s and Coke�s. Well, I just happened to be fond of those things. But my days are never complete without my Marlboro menthol ultra Lights 100�s in a box. The shorts will do in a pinch. Soft packs won�t be tolerated. That�s just me. Smoking is something I had grown accustomed to, became a part of me. It�s just something I enjoy. It�s a great stress reliever sure. But even more so, it was like a close friend. Yes, yes, yes, it causes cancer. I know it already, quit your damn preaching.

So I haven�t given up on quitting. I�m still trying my damnedest not to buckle. It just isn�t easy. And I wish so much for people to lighten up and realize that quitting is never easy to someone who smokes, whether it�s been 6 months or like me- 13 years. It�s an addiction. One that gets deep into your veins and is all consuming. But I WILL beat it.

Not much new happening in my life. My best friend for most my life that I care to remember, Mick, has asked me to hang out this weekend. She�ll be in our hometown visiting family tonight. I had to work. But I took the weekend off to go see her. So I am going to hit the showers, do a rush pack job and hit the road. I�m going to head to Saginaw and maybe meet up with her when I arrive if that�s possible. If not, I will spend the night at my dad�s and spend the morning with him and my babies. And my sisters if they are home. That�ll be nice. Then, I�ll follow Mick back to her town and we can hang out up there. I haven�t seen her in years. Maybe 5 or so? We kind of just lost touch. She got out of the Navy, married and started a family out of state. And Shawn and I moved North and settled in to our lives. I still miss her. I miss her family that was like an extension of my own family. And I miss the fun, the late nights chatting about anything and everything and all of the mischief we used to find ourselves in. Not that we went looking for it. Okay, maybe we did. But hell, that�s the best part.

Mick has been the one person I can completely be myself with and not feel sorry for it, or be ashamed. I�ve thought that of others before, but it�s always temporary. With Mick, it�s different. Maybe because we share the same roots, we can trace our friendship back to third grade, hip hop music and a T-bird her parents gave her and we ran the wheels off. Hell, maybe it�s because all but one car accident I have ever been in, was because Mick and I were in a car together� I think it was just our fate to crash test vehicles. And maybe in those accidents we bumped our heads too many times we no longer knew any better.

Regardless, the bond is still there. Or at least I hope so. It�s been awhile and time changes people, I know. And yet, I�d like to think tat even though time may change people, it can�t alter the bonds they wove together over the years. When I find out- y�all will be the first to know.

Have a great weekend, D�Landers. I�m sure as hell gonna try to!

And if nothing more... I'm headed home. And I mean that in every sense of the word. home to my Family... and to my friend who life just hasn;t been the same without.

Simply, sensationally, and oh so happy to be�

Sara