I barely had time to wake up today and we were on the go. It was raining, so hitting the beach was out of the picture. Thank Goodness. I haven't really been in the mood, it just hasn't been hot enough. I was a bit disgruntled when I saw that half of my pool was cleared up, and the other half still murky. I gues my sister had been working on swishing the rust deposits towards the filter and was taking a break. hence, only half being clear. So I worked on that a bit more.

We made a trip into a nearby town not too far away to hit their supermarket. We had decided on grilled whitefish, long grain and wild rice and fresh green beans for dinner. With watermellon for dessert. We got everything we needed, plus a thing or two we didn;t. Like the new Bacardu Raspberry rum... yummy. It rocks.

Dinner was great. The fish was tasty as ever. The kids ate well. Shawn hardly ate. He didn't much care for the way we made it. His loss and more for me. Woohoo.

I got some gardening in today. Weeded and fed them. Carter and I ate the ripe strawberries off the vine. I got another head of cabbage picked and in the fridge. I'm quite happy with my garden this year. Next year, I am going all out. HUGE. Corn, taters, onions, veggies, fruits... the works. I'm even thinking of some cherry trees.

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I was reading a friends diary and she mentioned how things change between friends when you're the last of your group to be married or have kids. She hit the nail on the head! It;s something I have been thinking about for some time now. ALL of my gal pals from high school have all married, had their kids, started new lives. Some are on their second or third kids... some on their second or third husband. And then there is me. With someone for 10 years, yes. But not married. No kids.

And it never fails that I grow tired of hearing about how many dirty diapers, how hard it is to get a sitter anymore who's any good on the weekend for a night out. Or how to get crayola off the wall. What grass stains do do ball uniforms or how much the tooth fairy is paying nowadays.

And then there's the... oh, be glad you aren't married. It's not all it's cracked up to be. The sex diminishes. you get bored. Yadda yadda yadda. Don;t you know?

And then I, in a moment of true weakness... maybe a bit out of envy, state calmly back... maybe even a bit sugar coated...

"No, I don't know. I still have sex regularly. It's better than ever. Our torch still burns bright. no kiddies sneaking in on us. No, Ma'am. We have all night to burn the midnight oil and I suffer from multiple orgasms... leaving me glowing but well drained and exhausted."

Or, "No, no early a.m. soccer games for me. I still get to sleep past noon. No obligations. No spilled milk in the morning, no fannies to wipe, my walls are still crayola free and the only laundry I do is adults. So my worst fear there is the ever prominent skid marks left by the old man, yanno?!"

By the end of the conversation, we're both rolling our eyes. Both grinding our teeth. And both wondering what the hell we ever had in common.

And what's worse? When ya get those friends who insist on feeling sorry for you because they have or are what you don't and are not. And although I would be a damn liar were I to ever say that from time to time I don't grow green with envy. But I never ask for pity parties. Not only do I abhor them... they don't do anything for me.

There's a huge line in the sand when one friend embarks on wifedom and mommyhood, and the other is still living the life of a singleton. I haven't quite yet found the happy medium. And I do try not to come across as bitter, as well as I hope they don;t rub my nose in their status.

Some of us just aren't playing the same hands. We're all playing froma different deck. And it's all win or lose based on fate. And yet again- do any of us really lose?

I'd like to think we all win. Hell, as my Pappy always said... "The grass is always greener on the other side. But you and me, we both know what makes taht grass so green. That maneur, kid. And you know what maneur is, Sarie Jane?"

Yes, Pappy. I know. It's all that shit on the other side of the fence."

Pappy always was a smart man.

Simply,

Sara