The last I wrote I believe, my dog Rocky was M.I.A. and is currently still gone. We did find him in a neighboring towen not all that far away to where he must have wandered. And actually saw him and got damn close to him. Thanks to the help of the people who saw our flyers and responded... but unfortunately, he wouldn't come to us. There were 6 of us chasing him that day and to no avail. We missed a day of work, spent hours chasing him all for nothing. I guess maybe he just decided he'd rather be free than come home. I don;t know. But both Shawn and I feel a bit better having seen him and know that all was well and he wasn't on the side of the road somewhere.

I got the call that my AUnt Brenda is progressively declining in her fight against her brain cancer. I was able to see her when I went down there for Easter and was glad for that. My sisters have started to go visit her frequently, and they keep me updated. But the news is never very promising. It's so sad. I will hopefulyl be going down there this weekend for Lisa's graduation and will get to see her again. But it's eating at me. Just knowing a woman so kind, so caring so tender and loving who has harmed no one or done nothing to deserve the fate handed to her will not live much past her 50th year of life. It's depressing.

This Friday, I am making a suprise trip down to Saginaw. My sister Lisa graduates from college with her associate's degree in Criminal Justice. Of all the kids, none of us have graduated high school. And Lisa will be the first to graduate period. And from college no less. She said she understood that we couldn;t get off the Friday for the grad ceremony but that she really, really wanted us there for her party a couple of weeks later.

But I decided after talking to Gena today, that I just can't miss my baby sister's big day. This is a huge event. A major turning point in her life and it would kill me and be unforgiveable for me not to be there. Were the shoes on the other feet, it would kill me for her not to come to mine were it not me. So I conned my boss into a vacation day on short notice and will make the trip home. I just pray my car makes it. It's been acting in a bad way and needs mechanical repairs that we just cannot afford right now. So I am excited anyways. It will be a suprise for me to be there for her ceremony. And I'll get to see my Aunt too. Bonus!

Shawn and I have decided to postpone our wedding until May for financial reasons. I didn't know plannign and putting on a weding would be so financially draining. I truly was not prepared. So with my family's pleading and my own overwhelming lack of finances- we're going to give it one more year to save up and hopefully, do it right. I don't want to sacrifice my "dream" wedding because I rushed to plan and put it all together, you know?

I have been battling a severe kidney infection. I ended up in the E.R. after going to the bathroom at work and peeing out pure blood. I just also found out that I have a kidney stone that's of rather good size that my body will have to pass. (hoo boy, ain't this gonna be a bitch!?) So I have been on some hell fire and damnationed pain killers that not only whoop the hell outta the pain, but outta my stamina and increase my bitchiness and mood swings. All in good fun... NOT!

With everything going on... my health, financial strains and work and what have you- I've been truly emotional. I've been a bitch. I've been a mood swinging fool. So I am desperately holding fast to whatever sanity I have at the moment and taking each day one step at a time.

That's all anyone can hope for these days, I guess. But it's been crazy. Not only hard on me, but those who have to deal with me too. I am constantly apologizing and praying that they too can try to understand all that I am facing and have the patience to put up with me and forgive me for all my short comings these days.

But despite all that's going on... I think it's all getting a little more tolerable. Each day gets a bit easier to deal with and my head is finally starting to sort out what it needs to.

So that's my life as of late summed up in a nutshell. Thanks for tuning in. Hopeully I'll have a bit cheerier updates coming soon.

Until then-

Simply,

Sara