So as not to gross out anyone reading, I won't go into details- but let's just say that I have been very under the weather for the past week or better. I haven't left the couch much at all except to use the bathroom or to move to my bed. Today is the first day that I have actually felt like getting up and moving around. Partially owed to the fact that I had to drive into the city for Jury duty on 3 hours of slep at the ass crack of dawn only to find out after a 2 hour wait that the case was settled and we were free to go...

And then tonight, I decided I would venture here to the computer room and check e-mails and what not since as I mentioned, it has been over a week. And the first one I opened was from my cousin Chrissy. The very first sentence raed something like, " Sara, I regret to have to inform you of this this way..." and my heart leapt straight out of my chest and did a quadruple flip as if off a high dive straight to my toes where it landed with a heavy thud. Turns out my Aunt Brenda, who recently beat brain cancer, has just found out that the cancer is back and growing with ferver. They told her that at the rate that it is going, she has only 3 months to live. As if she hasn't gone through enough?! She already beat it. Why must she face it yet again? My cousin did add via her e-mail that my AUnt will be seeing a neurosurgeon and taht there's a chance that having another surgery might mean they can remove the cancer.

I am devastated right now. it seems as if since my surgery, life has been nothing but sickness, death and a bad string of issues to be dealt with.

I know that my aunt and cousins must be going through some very difficult, emotional times. I wish there was something I could say and/or do to make things better or easier for them. I wish I could wave a magic wand or wiggle my nose and make the cancer disappear. But I can not. I am basically helpless.

The very worst place to be.

Please pray for my Aunt and my cousins... that seems to be all anyone can do at this point.

Simply,

Sara