I�m headed home tomorrow after work. I am way excited. I haven�t been home since� Christmas I think. I miss my fam-damily� my babies�. And my baby sister, Neaner, seems to be in nuclear mental breakdown. She and Lisa have been at each other�s throats more often than not lately. Anytime I can get one of them on the phone long enough to chat, either A) Lisa is bitching about Gena and/or her boyfriend or B) Gena�s bawling her brains our, and/or bitching about Lisa and her girlfriend. My heart breaks for my Neaner Girl.

I did talk to Lisa about it. She seems to have forgotten how bitchy, moody and irritating she was for Cassie. And with good reason. She was only 16 when she got pregnant and was scared, felt alone and had a lot on her plate. Gena�s not far off the mark there either- except the baby�s father has stuck around and she�s 3 years older. I have been trying to talk gena into coming home with me for a week or two. Long enough to get away. Might not be the most exciting place. But she won�t have anyone to fight with, no kids to watch and she�ll have me. Not to mention she does have a few friends up here from when she lived with me.

Oh! And the most exciting thing happened� I got a letter in the mail the other night from my old buddy, J from back home. J and I go waaaaaaaaaaay back. His family moved into the low income housing complexes that Shawn and I grew up in. Getting J�s letter took me back. Back to days of bologna sandwhiches, Johnny Carson, burnt orange couches and sideburns. (We were totally aghast at the latter two when we saw the movie The Shining.)

J�s family was very kind to me. He had THE coolest Mom there was. She taught us how to dance the LaBamba, made the bologna sandwiches I grew to love and still do. She did a lot with us kids. Always encouraging and always caring about what was going on in our lives. And J�s Dad was funny as hell. Sometimes I wonder who was the bigger kid� us or him. When J went to his Dad�s on the weekends, I went with him quite often to stay too. And J�s sister Net was just as much a friend as J was to me. I got to meet all the grandparent�s and felt very much like an extended family member.

I lost contact with J even before I left Saginaw. Our lives took us in 2 different directions. I have always missed him and wondered what ever became of the boy who stole my heart and broke it in a mere matter of hours, and then turned out to be one of my most treasured and best friends I�ve had in life. And then his letter came, 6 pages long and filled me in on all the latest. I called him tonight and got his machine� I left a message that I�d be in town this weekend and thought it�d be great to hook up.

I haven�t seen J in years. He sure has done well for himself, I�m proud to say. I wonder if the years have been kind to his well chiseled features that had many a teenage girls foaming at the mouth. His voice still sounds the same. As I listened to his voice on the machine it took me back to many moons ago and the long summer nights we stayed up watching Johnny and talking into the wee hours of the morning. Man, have I missed him. And I hope we get to catch up when I�m down there!

Also in the mail, I received my packet of forms and info from the surgeon�s office� oh my. Talk about a lot of paperwork! I sat at my table and filled paperwork out for 2 hours. Trying to remember family medical history and failing� realizing that I can only give half of my family medical history as my biological �Father� is nothing more to me than a sperm donor. (My Mom�s doings. She will only give me a name. No picture, no background. Nada.) And doing the paperwork proved to be overwhelming.

I kept thinking, �It�s really happening!� And it really is. Wow. I called and set up appointments today to get the ball rolling even more so. I now have an appointment next week to see a �Shrink� to be sure I am of sound mind. (Egads! As if!) And the week after not only do I have to go see my dentist, (non-surgery related. It�s just bad teeth, lol) I also have to go meet with a nutritionist. And sadly enough, all of that takes monies. I have damn good, if not awesome insurance. But I believe the insurance only covers half of the shrink bill and none of the nutritionist. Not to mention co pays for the dentist. Gah!

So it�s been a little crazy, a little overwhelming and a little exciting few days. I plan to use this diary to document the many ups and downs I am sure I will be facing going into the processes of having this gastric bypass surgery. I may even make a separate d�land diary just for that. We�ll see.

Feel free to leave comments, the 0 Bitches is a clicky just below this entry that let�s you leave me comments.

What do you think? Make a new diary to record my bypass surgery thoughts, ideas and events� or incorporate them here?

Gotta run now! For once... the ball is rolling! And I intend to keep up with it!

Simply,

Sara