1st January 2004... here it is. Like it- or not. gone is the year 2003. Flew by in a New York minute if ya ask me. As each year passes, I find more faith in the old saying that Time moves faster the older ya get. I thought a lot about that tonight as I prepared for the NY's festivities. And then I had myself a good chuckle. I think of my Grandma and all of the other 70ish people and wonder if a year is merely a day long to them anymore. I hope not. I have a hard enough time knowing that I will get old. But to have time pass by in the blink of an eye, no thanks. I like life too much.

We planned a small party here at our house. Shawn's family was supposed to come over as was Bryan. Well, Bryan showed. Shawn's sister is pretty sick and hasn't been out of bed for a couple of days so she and Nicol stayed home and his Mom stayed with them. His brother had to work but came over after. And his Mom did stop in for a minute.

I made my famous enchilada bake. It was yummy as usual. And I was glad Shawn requested it. It's cheap, easy and tasty. You take one bag of doritos and flavor really. I used 4 cheese for Shawn but I prefer the spicy nacho ones. 1 bag equivalent to the size of a doritos bag of Fritos. 2 cans cream of celery, 2 cans evaporated milk and taco meat. I made it with 3 pounds of seasoned burger. Mix it all together after you drain and season the meat in a large roaster, bake at 350 degrees for 45 minutes. Pull it out, put a couple bags of shredded cheese on top and... viola. Enchilada Bake. And it's a hit at every potluck.

Bryan and I sampled a myriad of drinks. Beers, Raspberry Smirnoffs, Amaretto shots, Amaretto sours. We both got rather giddy and giggly. He even became quite flirtatious which shocked me.

I was all set to ring in the New Year with a bang. But Shawn was... well, Shawn. When I mentioned that this year I would get a NY's kiss, he said that was going to happen because I was drinking. (He's a non-drinker) It went downhill from there.

I sat on the couch with Bryan who kept putting his arm around me and joking about taking me home. Laughing and flirting like mad. And it was nice. it made me feel good.

And then the ball dropped promptly at midnight. And there was Dick Clark (notice how much he's aged?!) kissing his wife... and there was me... in the arms of a man (but not thr right one). No NY's kiss. And although I enjoyed the attention Bryan lavished on me... I had to sit and wonder why my own boyfriend of 10 years was letting his best friend hold me and stroke my ego. Why wasn't it him?

So I stopped drinking. Wasn't fun anymore. My sisters called, made me homesick. But I was glad to hear Gena's voice. I needed to hear her voice. And then Lisa's.

A lot lately I think about moving home. I know it's crazy. my life is here in the great white north now. But a large portion of my heart is still back "home". It lies with ym Daddy, My sisters, My Brothers, my Niece, my Nephew. And more often than not lately... that part of my heart outweighs the one Shawn has.

But in any event, it's 2004! And damn it all, IT...WILL...BE... A...GOOD...YEAR...IF...IT....KILLS...ME!!! (Heh, and it just might too)

It started off on the wrong foot. But that's out of the way now. My feet are both warmed up and ready to stroll. This year, no matter what happens, no matter how much things try to get me down, I WILL walk on sunshine.

With or without Shawn, there's no room for compromise on that one!

Happy New Year All!

Simply,

Sara