Work went all right yesterday and today. We had a few minor problems. Nothing that had me pulling my hair out. Everyone has been in a fairly good mood as of late there, so the atmosphere has been nice. The smokers who have been trying to quit have all pretty much caved, all of us, yes, myself included- have given different excuses to validate our fall to the nicotine� some claiming like myself, that come Monday we�re quitting for good.

I was always told to never quit quitting. My joke has always been that I don�t. I quit smoking every night when I go to bed� I just resume every day a bit after I wake up. It�s true! But to be quite honest, I don�t know if I am ready to quit. I don�t know if I am strong enough to quit right now. I like smoking. If I didn�t, I probably wouldn�t have stayed a smoker for 13 years now. I like the taste, I like it�s soothing effect. I like everything about smoking. Yes, I know the risks that come with each cigarette. And yes, I am concerned for my health. And no, I am not just making up more excuses to not quit.

I guess I�m not sure what I want. I still plan to quit smoking come Monday. Or at least to give it one hell of a try� and if it works, yay for me. If not, there�s always next time.

But to all my smokin� readers� I make a vow to you here and now, I will NOT! become the typical �reformed� smoker who uninvitingly gives you their own personal sob story about their time spent smoking, how hard it was for them to quit, but that they did, and damn it you can too. I promise to not get in anyones face and bitch about the way they smell like smoke, or scream and have a temper tantrum in the middle of the restaurant because someone �ruined my meal� by lighting up a cigarette. Oh no. Mark my words, I will not become the evil �reformed� smoker.

BUT� I can�t promise not to stare at your cigarette longingly, inhale deeply every time I get near your lit cigarette or drool in my plate when you light your smoke after a meal in the same restaurant. I will even try to control my �nic-fits� so that I don�t stalk you into the dark corners or public restrooms to mug you solely for the purpose of a cigarette.

And if I don�t quit� I�ll just join you for a cup of something sweet and a smoke.

Smoking is evil. It IS an addiction. And man, did I ever get drawn in� were I to go back in time knowing what I know not about cigarettes, would I have still lit up? Some days, I think not on your life. Most days, I think, oh yeah. I met a lot of really great people, found new friends, and been comforted by complete strangers all because we shared the same addiction.

There�s the good, the bad, and then there�re cigarettes. Ain�t that a bitch?

Still Smokin�

Sara