We got to work by 2 p.m. We had a Smoking Cessation Hypnosis Session". Now yanno, as much as I have been thinking about quitting, the thought of hypnosis was like a big joke. But as this guy said, it was not your typical hypnosis session. They didn't make ya stare at a pendulum and all that jaz... they didn�t put ya to sleep. They merely had you close your eyes and he spoke to you, walking you into your "inner depths" I guess you could call it. It was a very relaxing experience.

Well, did it work? I guess it all depends. It was rather funny as all of us who attended were spending most of the night watching the others to be sure no one snapped under the pressure. You had the ignorant assholes that kept shoving smokes in your face trying to get ya to give in. But for the most part, everyone pulled together to form a sort of support system.

Butch attended, she lit up the minute she got outside. Shawn, he lasted maybe 10 minutes after. The rest of made it to lunch I think. We went 1 year with no time off needing accidents or injuries... so they have us a N.Y. strip steak dinner BBQ. Well, after we all ate, we all looked at one another. And we were all thinking it...

"You can't eat a steak dinner and NOT have a cigarette..."

So we smoked. We enjoyed it. And man, what a buzz we got. By the end of the night� I had only smoked 1.5 cigarettes. Which is damn good. For me at least.

We have to work tomorrow�. Ye flipping ha. Shawn�s cousin Rich and his girlfriend are bringing their pop up camper up and parking at the end of our drive while they�re up here. That�s cool. I haven�t seen Rich in forever and I miss him. We used to be drinking buddies, he was my personal relationship support as he lived with Shawn (practically me too) and he saw our relationship. He�s probably the ONLY other person in this world who knows us like he does. So it will be good to come home from work, knowing he�s here and I�ll be able to kick back, have a few drinks and rehash the debates we used to have. And his girlfriend Penny is quite a trip herself.

So� I don�t know what the weekend has in store� Maybe I�ll quit smoking, maybe I�ll put it off �til Monday. Maybe I�ll tie one on tomorrow night and get loopy, maybe I won�t. Regardless, I�ve had a hell of a week. I just wanna cut myself some slack and let it all go� Just be.

And then too, my best friend since 3rd grade Michelle called. She wants me to go down state to her place. Her kids will be gone and we can hang out. I haven�t caught up with Mick in years. I miss her. I miss the friend that I could tell anything to without a consequence. We had something so strong.

Then, Kimmy got ahold of me via e-mail. She�s a friend I met the first day of school when I started kindergarten. She was from Oklahoma and had a funny accent. To this day, I can still remember the way she said the word �open�. It sounded like Ohn-pen. We clicked right off the bat. Her family moved away in 2nd grade and we kept in touch sporadically. Now she�s married to a gorgeous hunk, has the �All American� family. A son and daughter� I�m looking for ward to catching up to her too soon.

If only I can find some time to steal away�

Well, Shawn�s sister, her girlfriend and his Mom just showed up so I�ll be signing off.

Night, D�landers.

Simply,

Sara