I ahve a doctor's appointment this morning, the reason I am up so early. I have been getting chrinic migraines and the drug I am on to help diffuse the situation is not working as well as it once did. I don't know if I need a stronger dosage or what. But after the past week, last night especially, something has to be done. Lasy night it was so bad, I was pale, clammy and all but passing out at work. And working in a factory, with the multitudes of flourescent lights, loud machinery and people who are louder than a fleet of diesel engines racing off to God knows where- a migraine is a bad thing. Very, very bad. And it all but killed me. Actually, would have- had I given into the desire to gouge my eyes out of their sockets to make room for the bullets I so desperately wanted to shoot into those sockets.

And also, I have somthing going on with my body. The right side of my head keeps going numb. I can't explain it better than to say it feels as if it's hollow. Which I don't tell people all too often because of how open I am leaving myself to wise cracks.

And as if that isn't bad enough, my body is entertaining the thought that it is a zepplin. It bloats up like a blow fish in all it's glory. So much so that walking is painful and what doesn't go numb, burns. I fell in the shower the other night, and I wasn;t even IN the shower. I was standing beside it.

I keep making jokes about it to every one, when in all honesty- I'm scared. I don't know what's going on and that's the worst part. I'm trying to chalk it all up to the migraines and poor circulation. However, the thoughts of brain tumors and other scary evils invading my body have been keeping me awake at night.

But in just over an hour, I'll be at the doctor's office. I'll let him decide what's going on.

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Shawn and I have been having our differences. Same old shit, just rehashed for the zillionth time.

I've been so emotional lately, I don;t know what's the matter. But like last night, Im sitting there reading my book while I eat and an all chick car crew caught my eye on TV. They were given a time frame to create a derby car to maul. The show was really interesting and right in the middle of my supper and juggling my book and the show, I started bawling.

Ugh.

So starts this ride on the ever present roller coaster of terror...

And I'm ready to get off.

Well, doctor's office awaits... wish me luck!

Simply,

Sara