I rode with Shawn into town and used the work phones to get ahold of my surgeon's office so that they could fax an off work slip into my bosses and I wouldn't get fired. THAT is always a fun task. Not! But I finally got that accomplished and am now able to deal with AFLAC tomorrow and hopefully get the ball rolling on my insurance benefits thru them. Lord knows I'm gonna need the money soon.

I ran my necessary errands. But I also decided that I haven't shoppped for me in awhile. All my friends were working, so I had to go alone. But it was still shopping nonetheless and that made things right with the world and me today. I went in and got a much needed hair cut, got my talons put on, and a pedicure to remove the mounds of callousses I have built up. Yes, eww. I also took myself to the mall and replaced the nose rings that popped out all week and I lost. I kept scratching my nose and losing them... go figure. But I have new ones now. If only I can keep from scratching.... Then, I went grocery shopping and treated myself to a dinner at my fave chinese restaraunt... even splurged on two purses... shhhhh! But I may have to take one back. We are pretty broke. :(

When we got home, I had a message on my answering machine from Mick. My best friend from high school. It's been years since we have talked or written to one another. She hurt me pretty bad a long time ago, I thought I ahd gotten over it. But when she drove all the way here to visit the last time, I realized a few things. Yes, I ahd gotten over it. But I hadn't forgotten what had happened. And I had basically lost the trust and best friendmanship. I don;t know if anyone can understand that. We had been friend from 3rd grade on. We became inseperable in high school. We were quite the wild, troublesome duo. But we had our fun, paid our dues and lived the good life. That all changed when she asked me to be her maid of honor in her wedding, then 2 weeks before the wedding called to say it'd been cancelled, and she wasn't coming home. Then rumor had it she made it home anyway and to be the friend I am, I drove by to console a hurting friend. I was shocked to beat hell to see her wedding in progress in her parents best yard.... and I wasn't even invited. I had bought my dress and everything. Never did wear it. Donated it off a few years back.

She called last year a few times when she was home. She had long since moved out of state. I never returned the calls. I was busy working mad hours, had a lot going on, and blew it off. I probably could have made the time, but wasn't sure I wanted to. And now, I don't know if I do again. Part of me wishes I had changed the number long ago.... and the other part of me is curious to know how she's getting on, how her kids and hubby are... whats new. That part of me misses the intense and truly exciting friendship we had. Misses the times we talked long into the night about boys, dreams, plans of getting out of town and finding "real" lives.

For the most part, both of us set out and accomplished all that we dared dream to. We just didn't do it together. She married, had babies and started college. I was commited but not married, had no babies, wasn't going to school and was living the care free life. We didn't have much in common. Everything asbout Mick changed. Her tastes, likes, dislikes, her lifestyale. I was still me. The same 'ol Sara... for better and for worse.

I don't know if I should call her back. Or even what to say if I had. I don't have the time to go visit, and really, quite truly don't have the desire for company with ym arm giving me fits and the drugs making me so tired. I just don't know... Ugh...

I got to see Tara, Ray and Renee tonight while I waited for Shawn to get off of work. That was awesome. I really miss the trying trio. That perked me up.

But all the running around, lack of sleep and of drugs (I was driving... no drugs for me :( ) madce my arm ache. I just showered and cleaned the gaping puss pocket as I have deemed it out. It looks even bigger.... but better just the same.

I think Im gonna go sleep on it...

should I call, or shouldn't I? Any help out there????