But before I start getting to the good stuff, let me give y�all an update about my health as that has been the reason that I have been away for so long. I still have the kidney stone. And it�s a painful little bugger when it acts up. Fortunately for me, these days in the past couple of weeks have been less painful and it seems to have been subsiding if only for the time being. A true blessing since the specialist I have been seeing has since stopped all treatment save for telling me to use extra strength Tylenol. And let me just tell you now, that that just doesn�t cut it when it comes to the kidney stone.

I think I mentioned in one of my previous entries that Shawn and I are now in couples counseling. I am rather glad that we took that step. It has helped me immensely. And as for us, it has worked miracles in the short time that we�ve been going. Doc had since started treating me again with Effexor (a family member of Prozac) for the crippling bout of depression that snuck into my soul and rendered me damn near close to suicidal. But before I could even begin the treatment, I had to finish up the treatment for the stone since the two treatments together could cause seizures. But since the stone is on stand by, so is my depression meds. They sit in the prescription bottle they came in, on a shelf in my cupboard just waiting their time to be used. I look at them every morning and every night. But luckily, the need for them grows less and less urgent.

My depression has disappeared almost completely in the matter of a brief 24 hour whirlwind of events. You see, the night of May 25th, I plugged in my fave c.d. mix and started jamming while in the shower. I was �Washing my blues away� really. And I hadn�t been in there long before Shawn�s head popped around the shower curtain with a concerned look. He asked me, �Shouldn�t you be bleeding by now?� And I hadn�t really given it much thought- until that very moment. So as I finished my shower, I started working the calendar in my head. Gave thought to all that had been transpiring in my life. The ups and downs between he and I, the health problems, the depression. So as I thought about it more and more, I chalked it up to stress.

The next day, I started getting the all too familiar cramps and yet nothing. So that night at the grocery store, I decided on a whim to pick up a pregnancy test kit to take when we got home. And once we arrived, that was the first thing on my mind. So I took it. Not 30 seconds later, I had the stunning result. Positive. So I waited until I had to pee again and took the last one, same results. Wse figured that we�d better call the doc�s in the morning bright and early. We figured the kidney stone would trigger a false positive. So my OB-GYN sent me to the hospital for blood work.

I was a bit freaked by this point. I had just undergone x-rays, oral surgery and what not when I had my wisdom teeth pulled. Was being treated for the kidney stone. And not to mention, Shawn and I were all but ready to part ways. And even more concerning was the fact that I am only 10 months post-op from my gastric bypass surgery. And they warn against getting pregnant before being post-op 18 months to two years�

So at 4:30 p.m., my cell phone finally chirped loud enough for me to hear it over the machinery and I raced to a quiet place in the office where I could sit and was given the news.

I am going to be a Momma.

I am now 7 or 8 weeks pregnant. After all those years of trying unsuccessfully to have a baby of our own and all but giving up- we�re going to be parents. The depression faded to joy and elation. Shawn and I have been working whole-heartedly on our relationship and getting it where it needs to be again. And now, we have a baby growing deep within my womb. A child created out of love.

It has been said that the timing couldn�t have been worse. But I have already spoken with the Ob-Gyn, seen my surgeon. And we have talked about everything thoroughly. And the consensus is that if monitored closely, and provided I do everything just as they say- there�s no reason that I cannot have a healthy and normal pregnancy and baby.

We�re thrilled. Absolutely, positively thrilled. I feel so blessed. don�t get me wrong, I am still a bit nervous. And I know that life as we both know it is about to change forever. But for the good I think. For once, for the good.

So the kidney stone is on hold for now. I am taking my many vitamins including my prenatal faithfully every day. I have cut out all sugars and junk foods as much as I can. I stopped all soda and coffee drinking save for a small splurge once in awhile and concentrate in drinking water alone. Shawn and I are walking daily to be sure to keep me exercising. And I pray non-stop that God has given us this blessing, and will continue to bless us through my pregnancy with a health, happy baby. Girl or boy.

So that�s where I am right now. Basking in the glow of a woman carrying a �bun in her oven.� And knowing that in 7 months, my dream of giving our love, our two hearts birth to walk the Earth freely alive and well.

I am going to be a Momma� can it get any better than that?

Simply,

Sara