I should probably tell you that my PCP (primary Care Physician) was out... so I got stuck with a ... umm... PC-A I think it was. Or was it a PA-C? Whatever the hell that is. Anyways! I had never seen this lady doctor before as a physician. And leaving, I was not impressed much. The whole event was odd.

Forst off, the doc's office is now rigged with Dell computers all linked to some major computer. The burse takes your vitals, programs in what ails ya... then the doc comes in and reads it all. I guess a simple pen and paper are just too outdated nowdays. And it's a damn shame because they get those nifty pens from the pharmaceuticals companies...

Well, the nurse looked at my chart, peered over it at me, then at my chart again. Next thing i know, mid-sentence, she stops, opens a drawer, and removes all those cool pharmaceutical pens from it and walks them out of the room. Leaving me on the sterile table with the crunchy paper with my jaw resting on the floor. Luckily, I thought to close my mouth just as she came back- and resumed business as usual with that task out of the way. I knew it was gonna be ugly from there on.

The doc finally came in. A big oaf of a woman.She asked me about the swelling, looked at my leg, commented that it must be painful, blamed the heat and gave me a water pill. Then wants to send me on my way. Nothing said about the migraines, about half my head going numb, etc. I start to tell her about it all, and the pain in my chest and my shortness of breath.

3 reasons came up, 2 I could have choked her for:

1) Quit smoking she says. As if every single problem in life revolves around my nocotine fits. Yeah, ok, IF I were to quit smoking right then and there, I wouldn't wanna be her. I get damn bitchy and desperate.

2) Im obese. LOL flipping DUHHH!

3) It's the heat. I'm prolly just dehydrated... pardon me for saying so, but if I don;t have enough fluids... WHY WOULD YA GIVE ME A PILL TO MAKE ME PEE THEM ALL OUT????

Needless to say, I left the doc's office feeling way worse, a bit frustrated and irritated.

So I treated myself to lunch as I waited for my script to be filled, went home and roused Shawn and we headed off to work.

Work was miserable. It was hotter than Haiti in there. About 3/4 into the shift, I'm dying. I can't get my breath to save my life. My chest is having pains, my head is screaming and thats just what I wanna do. Scream. So I settled for the tears. I cried like you wouldn' believe. I kept thinking my Dad was right- I am giving myself a heart attack.

I left work 2 hours early to go to the lesser emergency walk in clinic. In my "I'm having a heart attack atg 27" panic, I passed the place 3 times. By this time, I'm ready to pee my pants quite literally. I finally pull in, grab a parking spot and head in. I am told to wait. I start reading my book, and finally get called to the reception desk.

The lady is calmly walking me thru the directions of the paperwork I need to fill out and have filled out a gazillion times over all while I am standing there looking like I am doing an ancient ritualistic rain dance. But the only rain forecast was the pee I was about to expel if this crazy lady didn' hurry... and she didn't. The worst part was, I am 3.5 months late for my monthly. I knew when they saw that they would want urine. So I was holding my bladder for dear life.

Finally I convinced her to let me pee in a cup. Which caused confusion and they argued with me on my way to and from the restroom. No urine was needed for chest pains. Heh.

Finally get stick in the sterile room, another pen free one damn it... and the nurse comes in. Looks at my paperwork and asks about my period. Wants urine. Eureka! DING!DING!DING! Someone give me a cookie.

After much examinations and conversatiion, the doc (very nice woman) gives me the nebulizer for a breathing treatment. Didn' help. Then she lays me on the table and starts pushing "gently" on my chest. Tears instantly form and my limbs are lashing out in protest. Does that hurt, she asked. No, I cry and lash out when I;m giddy. C'mon now. Does a fly love shit?

Her brows furrow and I see the panic in her eyes. She rushes me off for chest X-Rays. The male x-ray tech was a treat. Very funny and laid back. he made me laugh, as much as it hurt, and put me at ease.

Xrays come back and the doc looks sullen. I am wondering at this point if a heart attack may've just been easier. She thinks I am diabetic. Wants labs. Vampires, all doctors. Honest to goodness. I'm psyching myself up for the 3 foot needles. She pulls out a doohickey, stabs my finger and drops my blood on a stick.

107. YAY. I'm normal. At least in blood sugar.

She says she got my Xrays. I nod. She says the P word. I cringe. Oh yes, folks, Momma got herself a case of Pneumonia. She wnats me in the hospital a few days.

Well, this once joking, pen idolizing obese heiffer wasn't having it. We went a few rounds. And then there was compromise. No hospital IF I agree to take the next 3 days off work.

Okay.

I go to the pharmacy, get my meds (An antibiotic called a Z-Pac and Vicadins) Grab my doc's slip and head back to work.

Shawn's waiting and I fill him in. He gives me "The Look". Then I get the, well, I never go to the doctor" speech as I am fretting over missing a few days. Firstly, because we get 9 sick/tardy times and then the boot. I'm at 7. This will make 8. (You get one per day or per illness, so my 3 days count as one occurance) I have one last day to be late or miss (each is the same in the eyes of Eagle Picher Inc) and then I'm history.

Not to mention we cannot afford me to be off of work!!! But I take solace in the fact that they're scheduling Sat. Sun. and Monday. YAY. Monday = double time and a half. I can make up the hours. But the occurance thing is still biting me in the ass.But what can I do???

So now, I've been up for 22 hours. I'm tired. Jittery from the nebulizer. Bitchy and hot.

So I think I'm gonna go to bed now. Just wanted to let y'all know I'm not dying.

Can it get any worse??? Shut up. Don't even answer that!!!

Simply...

Suffocating Sara