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The key question now is ... where to begin? I haven't been on line in what seems like forever. But I think it's been a week. Tara, Renee, Jamie and I planned for a "Girls Only" weekend at Tara's house Friday and Saturday night followed by Bowling For Kids Sake (BFKS) a charity bowl-a-thon for the Big Brothers Big Sisters program.

Shawn caught a nasty cold that started working its way into my body. So I wasn't much in the mood to play on line anyhow. Not to mention in lieu of the upcoming weekend, I decided to spend most of my free time split between my book "The Poisonwood Bible," which has been intriguing, and house keeping so I didn't have to return home to a filthy house.

While working on keeping up the house, I kept commenting to Shawn how badly I wanted the warm weather to stay so that we could start fixing up this run down and need-to-be-abandoned-but-our-credit-royally-blows shack of a mobile home. But he got a bug up his ass about lowered interest rates and "Now's the time to buy" idea so much, so that I called a Modular Home sales rep and scheduled an appointment. I laid it all out for him. We have bottom of the barrel credit and wanted him to run our credit reports before we even began to look at homes and got our hopes up. My hopes have been shattered more times than I care to recap on and I was NOT, repeat, NOT! going thru all of that again. I don't think he believed me, but we went in and signed the necessary documents so that he could pull our reports and scheduled an appt. for Saturday. He gave us 3 books of home layouts to browse thru. Which I did and found THE home of my dreams. And therein lied the problem as he called Saturday to say I wasn't lying (No shit, Sherlock.) that our credit was kind of "in need of repair" (like a hammer and nails or a flipping pipe wrench might fix it. PUH-leez, mister!) and NOT to come in Saturday as planned. he wanted to run some numbers by a bank to see what he could do before we came in to look at homes only to have our hopes dashed. (Well, G-damn mister. That all sounds familiar. Care to guess why?!) But just giving us those floor plans books got my hopes up near enough that I was all but depressed in that I found just the perfect home lay out and probably will be told to go take a long walk off a short pier because I don;t have the credit needed in today's society to put my monies to good use. Never mind that we paid a $16,000 house and property deal off in 3.5 years. Well, mister, Please, work your magic. Momma wants a new home! And I know just the one!

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Come Friday, I was pretty excited about our girls weekend. I said hasty good bye with a quick kiss and loving comments as I grabbed my bags and raced off to Tara's truck, threw my stuff in and buckled up for a weekend of fun. Man, was I so not prepared for all the fun I was about to endure. Yeehaw!

We pit stopped at a local store where we grabbed some munchies, alcohol (Tara got her usual 12 pack of Bud Lite. For me, 2 bottles of Late Harvest wine from the Chateau Grand Traverse. My all time fave wine, the only wine I drink actually. But at $13 a bottle, a bit pricey for a mere bottle of fun.) And anything else we could imagine we'd need.

After we left there, we headed off to pick up Renee, then back to Tara's. Jamie was waiting up for us but was tired. I decided to shower and snuggle into some Pj's before we started anything. Then, once I was comfortable, I snuggled up at the table and we decided to die Jamie and Renee's hair. I had already experimented with purple, Tara did hot pink streaks. This was Jamie and Renee's night. Renee went golden blonde, Jamie's was s'posed to be chocolate brown with auburn highlights. Renee's turned out gorgeous, Jamie's too. But she was dismayed as it was much more auburn than planned. The rest of us loved it though.

After the hair was dine, I decided to dip into one of my bottles of wine. Tara got out the cork screw and started to remove the cork. But when she pulled up, the screw thing pulled away from the handle. We all laughed. But then tried to figure out how to get the damn cork out. Well, since the screw part was still embedded in the cork, she grabbed some handy pliers and we went to work. The cork kept falling apart, but after several fits of delirious laughter, a pile of cork bits and a gazillion frustrated tugs, the cork popped with an all to sweet "pop" sound and I started right in. Now, I am not a big drinker. And only on occasionally, a social one. But for some reason, I was much astonished to find that I had drank the entire bottle in less than an hour. The gals were all shocked also.

I was amazed and relieved to find that it was all good as I oft like to say. I wasn't even buzzed. We chatted giddily over our drinks and I even started a beer (which I NEVER drink since I hate the shit) and all of a sudden I was like "wow!" they laughed. Oh, it hit. And hit big.

My thoughts were nothing but giddiness and laughter filled. I had everyone cracking up as usual, when I drink. They kept telling me I should do stand up at the local comedy club. I reminded them I would get a huge case of stage fright and wouldn't be able to be funny. Almost all of my funniness is based on present people in company, circumstances and, oh yes, Sex! Tara said I'd be fine. She said she'd be in the audience and we all laughed. It is usually her, bearing the brunt of all my hysterically funny digs. She gets embarrassed, sure as shit. But it's all in good natured fun and she appreciates that...well, for the most part.

Jamie turned in a bit early as she had been up since 6 a.m., I stayed up until about 3 a.m. and left Tara and Renee to continue their happy chat as I swaggered drunkenly to bed as I had relaxed a lot and was quite tired. I was in bed a few hours before hew lushes entered and my sleep was not to be any more. They weren't having none of it. So I joined them up in "the big bed." (Tara has a huge king sized bed, and a sperate pull out mattress that I had been sleeping on laid out at the foot of her bed on the floor)

There we were, the 3 of us, drunk, happy and talking and giggling long into the wee of the morning. It was 9:30 a.m. before we went to bed. We had all decided to go garage sailing both days. But needless to say, THAT didn't happen. We didn't wake up until after noon, and by the time we hot town, we ran to the bank, went to the mall and had lunch at an awesome stir fry place.

We had to be back at Tara's for a presentation on The Team of Destiny a new trickle down start your own business with us type deal our friend from work is trying to get us to join./ Basically, you make money by shopping for your every day needs on line. I must admit, it's very ideal and has me dreaming of joining and big checks each month to follow. As soon as I have the money, we'll be joining. And I'll fill you in on that more later.

Richie looked rather sexy and took us by suprise as he showed up in a suit and tie. here was a sexy man at the door who we normally see everyday with grease everywhere from head to toe with an allan pack and screw drivers in his pockets. And always, holes in his knees. Man, can he clean up nicely. He was a bit nervous which also railroaded us. here is the guy we taunt and torment, tease and give wedgies. Nervous, in front of us? puh-leez. It was cute though.

When he was done, we sat around and shot the shit a bit before deciding our hung over bellies were ready for food. We all loaded up into vehicles and headed to a not too far away bar for dinner. That was cool. We were all relaxed and chatting about nothing and everything.

After dinner, we parted company with Richie whose wife would be getting home from work and we ran for cigs and a new cork screw. We asked if this one had a warranty ... he laughed. I told him if it broke, I would hunt him down in his sleep so he could pop my cork. Man, the look on his face. Well, every girl wants her cork popped ... no?!

We went back to Tara's and again, I had the bottle of wine gone in no time. I didn't share. But this time, I left out the beer. And yes, the cork screw help up nicely. Thank God. Just as started getting a buzz on, we gals got into a deep conversation about Renee's life that all but took acre of my happy-go-lucky buzz. I stayed up until about 3 a.m. again and retired to bed. But once again, they weren't having it. Hence, a repeat of the night before. We three girls sharing a bed and giggling way past our bedtime, and once again, we missed garage sailing.

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Renee left just before we woke up. Jamie was up and chatting on the phone when Tara and I finally crawled out of bed groggily and not feeling the best. We had a lunch of chicken and dumplings and cheddar garlic biscuits and chatted a bit. But today was a big day, for the 3 of us all. Tara and I had our BFKS charity deal and Jamie had a 7 or 8 page paper due the very next day on a book that she hadn't yet started. But had read the book. I had to laugh. She's a lot like me in that respect.

So, I called Shawn to get him up and geared up to pick me up. We had an errand to run and I needed clothes. That accomplished, Tara left to go see Ray for a while. Jamie went to work on her paper, and I read my book as I waited for Shawn ... who had fallen back to sleep ( Not Shawn!) Oh yes. Much to my chagrin. he showed up leaving barely enough time to get to the bowling alley and register. We ran into Tara in the parking lot. We hadn't seen Tammy, our bosses wife, who we were to be bowling with, so Tara kept asking if we could just drop the money off we had collected and split. But Tammy came into the room where we were registering with our bowling team shirts that her company, Skilled Manufacturing, Inc. had kindly made for us. No turning back now.

SMI has 3 teams, the Pinheads (which had really cute shirts), The Outlaws (which the shirts were cool, but the name was better) And the Raccoons (neither shirts nor name was very appealing). Tara and I were Raccoons. LMAO.

The only other person I knew there was Tammy and a guy named James who used to work at our factory. So I was a bit nervous. New people watching my heifer ass lob a 14 pound marble type ball down an aisle at these itty-bitty pins. Ugh. I felt as if all eyes were ion my as I aimed and released my first ball. It went straight for the gutter and, ACK! I broke my thumb nail. Egad. What tragedies I incur all in the name of charity.

But after chatting a bit here and there, that first ball seemed to be my ice breaker, and the broken nail my good luck charm. Despite spending 12 years practically living in bowling alleys (Both my parents worked at 3 of the local alleys and were avid bowlers), my average sucks moose cock as we say at work. I learned nothing really. But was realistic in setting my goal at 100 pins a game. I broke 100 my first game at 101 total. My 2nd game I hit for 113. So I was happy. And even better, it wasn't a 3 game event but 2. So it was over before I knew it.

I got 2 free tee shirts (my team shirt and one for gathering over $75 in pledges), met some new people and earned almost $170 in money for a good cause. I was happy.

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After the bowling was over, the boss's wife asked Shawn about stopping by to fix her 'puter. We agreed that after we stopped for a quick bite to head over. But it was John's 40th b-day, so she said she had plenty of food no need to eat. So we headed there. Lee, (A guy from work) one of Tammy's gal pals, Del (Jon's cousin and Tammy's friend/co-worker)Tara, Shawn and I all met there. John cooked burgers and Tammy set out fixins and salads.

There was lots of good food, good music. Shawn worked on the 'puter. We all chatted and told stories, ragged on the boss about becoming a "Senior citizen." We were having a grand old time. I opted to stay sober.

Tara on the other hand got trashed. Lock, stock and the whole keg barrel. As did Lee. John must have too, because he was long passed out shortly after 11 p.m. Lee was barely able to stand and we found him on the floor, his back propped up against the bar most of the night. We shot pool, played darts. Talked. Just had good fun. Del is a royal trip and he and I clicked. Tammy is also really cool. We talked about anything and everything.

Tara got toasted and re-roasted. She stumbled down the basement stairs, which I had to laugh. She kept tripping over the dog. She slurred her words as if her tongue was disabled. I was laughing my ass off. She becomes quite the lover when she's drunk. She tells you 50 and 100 times over how good a friend ya are and that she loves you. Its cute. She knocked over 4 beers. Practically ran into everything within reach. then she started getting feisty. She was feisty a "playful" mood. And out of the blue punched Lee in the side of his face so hard it sounded like she broke his jaw. He just turned, teary eyed and left for upstairs. I was shocked. I made Tara go apologize, but she wanted to know what for. She was that drunk 2 minutes later she forgot. She ended up smacking Del upside the head, and then again in the face. He laughed but I was a bit nervous.

I went upstairs and took Tara's keys from her coat so she couldn't drive. I worked it out that I would drive our truck and Shawn would drive Tara home in hers. At some point, Tara called Andrew, a guy she met a few weeks ago and hasn't had the balls to call since she met him even though she really liked him. But she's been facing inner turmoil trying to figure out who she is. She's been living the life of a lesbian for 5 years, since she was 19, monogamously with V. But V went and turned into a jealous psycho bitch and that ended. She'll be moving out of Tara's next Sunday. Hoorah. Tara liked guys before V., but had a bad experience with one who decided to force her into oral sex. So then she met V. and bam, They hit it off. But now that V. is all but out of the picture, she's been missing men. Well, even before V. and Tara had issues. She doesn't know whether or not she is gay, Bi, or what. Nor do I. Only that Tara is Tara and to try to categorize her is all but impossible. She defies all stereotypes. But she did call Andrew, and drunk or not, I was glad she took the step to finding out.

Then Del's girlfriend called. Now, she and Tara worked together in one of our shops and a once friendship somehow went sour all but overnight. And Tara and she now loathe one another, whatever their reasons. We all knew who it was who called, and Tara, feeling bitchy, picked up the phone./ It went something like this...

"Hello?"

"Sure, may I tell him who's calling (like she didn't know)

"Oh, hi, A. You know who this is? It's Tara... your best friend.

"Hello Hun"

Needless to say, I'm sure Del slept in the dog house. At this point, I grabbed Tara's coat and slipped it on her. Another half hour of her hugs and "I love you, you're a good friend"s, we got her into a truck and on the way home.

We stopped at a gas station as I needed gas.

Tara argued with poor sober Shawn that that wasn't the way home. I pulled up to a station and started pumping. Tara jumped her drunk ass out and began staggering around near me and we "chatted" as much as a sober and drunk duo can. Then some older guy departs the gas station with his morning papers about to leave for work I assume. She asks if he's gonna pay for her gas. he laughs and says sure thing as he gets in his car. She claims he lied when she realizes his intentions weren't to actually pay and staggers over, opens his door and accuses him of lying, then asks him for a kiss. The poor man. He pulled his door shut, locked it and sped off.

I was tripping at her boldness. She followed me into the station to pay and asked for a pop which I obliged. As I walked with her hanging with her arms around from behind me claiming her love and that she'd "do me." I just smirked thinking how Shawn would just LOVE to hear that comment, and blushed as I realized the clerk did. I paid as fast as I could and got her back out and into her truck where Shawn was waiting.

We finally got her home ... after a few minutes of her running into the side of her house, she finally made it to her door where Shawn had to go help her unlock her door. Then we left.

And that, my readers, ended my most awesome weekend.

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Now, Monday rolls in. Back to work. facing the people I shared the weekend with. Seeing Tara and Lee looking rough. Filling Tara in on all that she can't remember has been enough fun to last me weeks of snickering and spontaneous bursts of laughter much to her chagrin. She was mortified. But hey, what's life without friends to remind you of your drunken ... what's a good word ... drunken mishaps?

Work went well enough. Dragged a bit. Shawn and I had to go pay bills on the way home lest they confiscate our TV or cut off our phone service.

We had a long heart to heart about things this weekend triggered like babies. Something that our lack thereof and not without an honest effort has had us avoiding. But it was good to talk. We both decided that though we want babies or even one baby with all our heart, we'd be fine to not have any. We'd leave it up to God.

He isn't too eager about adoption. He isn't sure he could love another kid knowing it was someone else's. But seemed like maybe someday, it might on some off chance be possible could we ever afford it or be offered the chance. And we both said that were it possible, fostering children might be a nice option as we both love kids and would be helping out kids who needed people to love and care for them thru dire or complicated times. So that left me hopeful.

Our finances are real hairy right now and I am wondering how we can pay this months bills. But after my weekend, I'm rather eager to let that worry sit on the back burner and simmer a bit.

Which brings me to now, Just showered and smelling fresh and oh so refreshingly clean, still wrapped in a towel, My back a bit sore from sitting here pecking away. A smile on my face.

Cheery-fucking-oh.

I'm giddy. Care to join me?

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Recommend List:

Book: The Poisonwood Bible

Song: Ignition by R. Kelly. Remix is the better version but both are nice.

Hair color: Purple if your hip enough to try it

Mood: giddiness.

Movie pick: Jackass (NOT for the weak of stomach or bladder)

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Chocoholic Reflection Reasonette:

Diet Tip: eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take the edge off your appetite and you'll eat less.

Amen!