I ahd a really hard time ditching the Christmas jeers and finding holiday cheers... but I did find it. Just in time too. We've been really broke, but I took my car payment and went to a local "One store has all super mart" kind of place and found some awesome buys. So I took care of my family. We won some great things at the work Christmas party, and used some of the funds/gifts as presents. In the end... no one got shafted. Well, Shawn did. I had no monies to buy him anything. And he had none for me.

But you know, it didn't matter. My bestest gift was his driving me 2 hours and 20 minutes down state to spend Christmas eve with my family. My Mom and 2 youngest brothers even came over to my Dad's. We had a splendid time, exchanged gifts... and for the first time in a looooooooong tim, we were a whole family again. no bitterness, no anger, no arguments. Still the same tyicks, twitches and sarcasm. And damn, it felt good. I knwo it could never be, nor would I ever expect or even want my parents together again. I know they love each other... but its a love that would never move heaven and earth. So I take these precious moments and I store them. And when times get trying, I drag them up and take them with me. Like a security blanket.

It was hard for me to leave.We couldn;t spend the night becuase we had things at home planned for Christmas day. And we had already been up 24 hours, so I really wanted to stay. I was worried about Shawn falling asleep. But I knew he wasn't having it. We both fell asleep a couple of times, and took a couple wrong turns. But finally we made it.

My poor Dad though. I broke into tears as we were saying our good byes. It's always hard for me. I went from having a small tight knit family there never more than a few miles away, to being 2.5 hours, a long distance phone call and a job that works me 40-80 hours a week. We're all on different schedules, and we just can't connect as much anymore. Saying good bye is always hard. I cried as I hugged them all. And then I cried harder when my niece and nephew ran to the window waving and crying to go with me... but I bawled when I saw my dad. He walked to the window, he just stared. And he was crying. God, Im crying now as I remember it. There was my Daddy, his image framed by twinkling rainbow colored christmas lights, crying. My Daddy. The man I owe my all to. The man who took me in and showed me that sometimes blood isnt thicker than water. The man who fought to keep me when he didnt have to have the responsibilty. The man who patched up every boo-boo, corrected every homework assignment, and who knelt down with me every night after making sure I brushed my teeth, and prayed with me. He never missed a night. He worked 3 jobs and he was always there to pray with us and put us to bed. My Daddy. There is no greater love. None. Not even the love I feel for Shawn.

And it was at that very moment that I knew no presents, no bills, no worry or care was worth two licks worth of my stress. It didn;t matter what I bought, or how much. It wouldnt have mattered if I went there empty handed. It just mattered that I was there. And for me, my greatest gift, was my family. And that Shawn was there for me through it all.

I learned a very valuable lesson this Christmas. It's not what you have... It's who you have. And thought they aren't a bunch of hoitey-tooitey blue bloods... They're a family. And proudly, they're all mine.

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On a bad note, we got home Christmas eve after several incidents and heart attacks, to find his Mom ill and had to go to the hospital. They ended up admitting her. Another bout with pancreatitis. Ugh. So much for Christmas day.

But i cooked the big meal. Shawn's brother and sister were here. We ate the big dinner family style at the kitchen table, complete with candle light. And after, we played Uno Attack (a real riot) and then played Monopoly 'til 6 a.m. I won! The first time in 26 years, I WON! YAY! But damn, that batch of siblings can get mean and ruthless. Between the 3 of them, I was a bit scared. But it was fun. And it meant a lot to me to see Shawn and his siblings together. Sad his Mom couldn;t be here, but what can we do.

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Ooh! Sims Online went live. I have been on the Play Test version. Wasn't sure if I'd like it. I did buy the CD for me and Shawn. We've been playing that like crazy. Man, if ya havent gotten it, you should. It's a blast!

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Anyhow, that was my Christmas. Good, Bad and ugly.

Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukuh, Happy Kwanzaa and Feliz Navidad!

Let's pray the New Year rings in much love, joy and Happiness for all.

'Til we meet again

Quite Simply,

Sara