Yes, the day has finally arrived. It has officially been one year to the day that I had the RNY Gastric bypass surgery done. I am now over 140 lbs. thinner and only have 20-40 more to go.

Most of you who read this on a regular or even semi-regular basis know that this surgery has redefined me. It's something I seem to talk about a lot whether or not people want to hear about it. It gets to be old hat and yet, there are still some people who never tire of hearing my tales or of sharing in the ups and downs with me. I can't help talking about it because it indeed has become such a huge part of my life and of me.

One year ago today, I took a stand. I made a commitment. I made the choice that would affect me for the rest of my life. I stood up for myself, I commited to changing myself and my life to better them both for the sake of my health and my sanity and I chose to live for me. All things that until that point all seemed like the right things to do- but I hadn't had the courage, strength, confidence or the know how to go begin to chase after that dream. The dream to become a self-reliable, self-confidant and indepedant woman who could look the world in the face and be herself without any false pretenses.

But then I saw the results Nancy (our H.R. woman, now a friend at work) had. And she encouraged me. So once again I found myself researching the surgery. I met with Mary Kay, the nurse at the surgeon's office who handles all of the bariatric bypass patients. And Shawn and I started the process of learning what we would go through. And through Dr. Featherstone, Mary Kay and the highly respectable trained staff... not to mention the many other patients who support you thorughout your journey- I was able to finally find the way to my personal happiness.

It by far was the hardest choice I ever made. One that nobody would help me make thankfully. This was something I had to do on my own. But it has proven to be the smartest thing I ever chose to do. And that fact alone is worth it's weight in gold. I did this for me!

It by far has been a long journey. And it has had it's fair share of ups and downs. Sure, I have physically morphed almost magically into a beautiful woman- one I never dreamed of being. Not just physically beautiful, but the beauty starts on the inside and works its way out!

I went through many traumatic ordeals in the beginning. I had trouble with coming out of the surgery, battled 105 degree fevers. My incision ifected and left me a wreck. I developed ulcers and what not. Pretty much just about everything that could have gone worng- did. Luckily, my surgeon, Mary Kay and their staff kept me sane and healthy. It was ntohing for me to walk in their terrified and bawling only to have ary Kay hold me in her arms and hug me until the fear subsided and the sobs stopped. Anytime, day or night- they were there.

I have also changed inside. The Sara that once was, is gone. I always said that no matetr what happened, I didn't want to lose myself. I wanted to remain the woman I was. Man, how naiive I was then. I think letting go of the old me was probably the best thing that ever happened, but I'm just now seeing it.

Gone is the me that was angry, bitter, lonely and co-dependant. Here stands me now, happy, forgiving, loved and freed from all ties that once bound me and held me down. And above all, gone are the diabetes, the scary blood pressures, the asthma and the obesity. I am now no longer a walking, talking woman who was dying at the age of 28. I am now a 29 year old woman who is alive in so, so many ways.

My journey is not over. In fact, I have only just begun. And to be totally honest- I don't know that the journey will ever truly be over. I think the path to discovery is an on going process. Especially one when you're living to discover who it is that you truly are.

When I first went into the seminar they had about the surgery to explain all that would transpire and all taht I would or could face, they said something very true. This surgery is only a tool. But like any tool, if not used properly, it could end up having less than the desired affect.

I feel as though I have been given a key. And what I do with that key, what doors I unlock- that's all up to me. Dr. Featherstone, Mary Kay, Shawn, my family, friends and co-workers can only assist me. But in the end, it is me and me alone who has to decide which paths to take and how exactly I use my key. And so far, I've opend quite a few doors. A lot of them ones to beautiful new beginnings. Paths I would have never dared take before. And some doors led to dark alleys that left me reeling and questioning myself and the decisions I have made.

But like any journey in life, you take the good with the bad. And while the surgery has been a total blessign for me and I have preached how wonderful it has been. I am also damn careful to tell potential candidates the whole story. That it's never a decision to be taken lightly. That there are as many negative effects as good if you're not extremely careful. The changes can affect your sanity and that of everyone around you.

But for me, it's been worth all that I have embarked on and endured. I can smile again. I speak my mind freely. I can look myself in the mirror now and know that it's really me that I'm seeing and actually like who and what I see.

And so in closing I say to you D'Land, Happy Anniversary to me! The new and improved me!

Simply,

Sara

P.S. And to Dr. Featherstone, Mary Kay, all of the staff at Grand Traverse Surgery and all of the many, many supportive people in my life (there are too many to name, but y'all know who you are) Thank You. For everything. I could not have made this journey without all of you.