I am one big body of bubbly cheer. I have been since yesterday and am even more so tonight. I can�t remember the last time I have felt this jubilant. This gleeful. This� together! But man, let me tell you, It�s such an awesome feeling. And I hope this high lasts awhile.

I got a call from the surgeon�s nurse practitioner yesterday on my celly. I missed her call, but for some reason decided to pick up my phone and see if I had any voicemail. Odd for me, since I almost never get any calls. When I heard her voice mail, I was relieved to finally be hearing back from her, and also nervous that they might deny me the surgery. I mean, after all the time and energies I spent researching, studying and interviewing people on the matter. I feel that I have not taken this option lightly. I went out, got the facts, listened to the stories, weighed my options. I got educated on the matter. And after 2 long years of tossing the idea around, I am ready. Risks and all. And just the thought of getting my heart set on something, making my mind up- only to be shot down was scary.

So with trembling hands and a racing heart, I called her back. I agonized as I waited on hold for what seemed like an eternity before the softest, calmest- most soothing voice I have ever heard come on the line. I told her who I was and what I was calling about. She ran through a list of questions, gave me a basic outline of all that I would need to do, answered some questions and tried to ease my mind. At the end of the call, I asked her if I qualified. She laughed softly and said yes, I did.

I whooped out a good one, loud and clear. I was accepted! YEEHAW! BUT� and how did I know there would be a �but� in there� Before anything happens, I must go to an orientation on Tuesday, March 16th from 6-8 p.m. She said in that, she will be explaining to people what to expect, lifestyle changes they will have to succumb to, what they expect from the patients and what we, the patients can expect from them. Sounds good to me! And before then, I need to set up a psychiatric evaluation to be sure I�m �In my right mind� and sane enough to make this choice and adapt to the upcoming changes. Then, go to the orientation. There, I will also meet and be able to set up an appointment with a nutritionist. And after that, I will need to have labs done like blood work and such. So I�m finally on my way. I�m on the road to a healthier life� hopefully, a happier life. And I�m already giddy!

It�s funny, because now it all seems like instead of trying to move uphill with a ton of bricks on my shoulder, I�m not necessarily headed downhill. But the weight is lifted and I�m at least on level ground. I won�t be on the downhill slope until after the surgery, if I am still alive. I know that almost sounds morbid, but it�s a risk . A very high risk. The surgery is 14 hours long. That�s a long time to be under anesthetic and a scalpel. But I am not going to let that bother me. I�m going to keep thinking happy thoughts. Not as if I am in denial, just enough to be positive.

After all, when it�s �your time to Go,� you�re going. I don�t think you can bargain with the Almighty for one last beer, one last round of golf or what not. So if it�s my time, then so be it. My nerves are still a little on edge, but I think that�s natural. Just in case, I will be making a living will. Giving Shawn power of attorney over me in case something happens in there. I�m thinking of these things often, and yes, I am scared.

But what�s life if you�re too unhealthy, too unhappy, too tired to live it?

And too add to my joy, my sister took vacation the Friday after this, as did I. I get to go home in a little over a week. Get to see my Daddy, My sisters, my brothers, Momma, my BABIES� and be around the people who have made my life what it is today�.

Who could ask for anything more?

Simply,

Sara